Saturday 14 November 2009

Gender Interaction



Contact between sexes seems to be discouraged in Japan; cuddling and kissing in public is not done, and for many young people living with their parents (a common occurence in Japan) there is little room for developing close personal relationships, and here I am not only talking about sex but about the non-sexual contact that a couple might take for granted in Westernised countries, such as staying at a boyfriends house or cuddling on the sofa in front of your parents. When I first experienced the shock created by hugging in public, I assumed that I had committed a faux pas and was being considered rude; however when asking my host family if I had behaved out of order they assured me that not only would my 'spectators' have compensated by labelling me a 'gaijin' (foreigner), but public displays of affection are not considered to be rude. From what I could gather, it has more to do with the Japanese sense of privacy - for example people are rarely even invited into the house, and it takes a long time to build up relationships in which to share intimate details about your life. When you think of these everyday situations, it seems logical that affection towards another person would be something that also takes a long time to build up, and is considered something private and to be kept behind closed doors. I believe this has led to the popularity of certain social spaces reserved for the interaction with the opposite sex, such as love hotels where couples can escape the confines of the parental home, and Host/Hostess bars (1) where drinks and food are accompanied by the man or woman of your choice. Although there is no longer such a stress on relationships leading to marriage there is still a formalised attitude towards gender interaction.




(1) Ann Allison gives a good anthropological account of what goes on in Hostess bars, and why they are popular with the Japanese 'psyche', in her book Nightwork: Sexuality, Pleasure, and Corporate Masculinity in a Tokyo Hostess Club.




2 comments:

  1. I am seeing more and more public displays of affection here in Japan these days as compared to 12 years ago, mostly by younger couples. But this is mostly hand-holding rather than passionate hugs and kissing. The latter still seem to be more of a gaijin activity...

    Nice start to this post but your analysis at the end isn't as strong as your usual stuff...

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  2. I was trying to get at the idea that it is the Japanese attitude towards gender interaction that has lead to a prevalence of specialised social spaces in which to fulfill needs not generally accepted by society - again I need to emphasise I am not taking about sexual intercourse but emotional needs. Also the expectations of men and women to perform gender segregated roles in public (and in many cases in the home) means that those that wish to act otherwise need to go to places on the periphery of society, hence the proliference of host and hostess bars.

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